I had an on-line relationship and this is where all this submissive side came to be born, but like some good things in life it had to end, I am not going to lie, I am still in love with him but I know it can't be.
I have never experienced a D/s M/s relationship in flesh only mentally, it scares me having the thought of a Dominant standing in front of me and I am there just feeling as powerless as I will ever feel, surrender all of me...helloooo..tingling here, that is a great feeling! hahaha
My journey consist of many other things; I love to travel but I don't get to do it as often as I would like to. If it was up to me every weekend I would take off to a new or old city, have a new destination plan, of course it gets old, so after a while I can do it twice a month. In the past year I have actually traveled plenty and I was very happy with my European destinations among other places I visited. Now I want more!
As I look back I am just a happier me than what I used to be, for several months I have been searching for that middle place, I was feeling lost, unhappy, didn't know if I was coming or going, trying to make a decision and afraid of the end results, I am still struggling with it but at least I have control of it which I didn't before, at least now I have the courage I didn't have before. In the end I am happy because at least I made a decision :)
I also miss having sex, connecting with someone in that level, yeah yeah...I am a bit old fashion in certain areas, I have been intimate with three men in my entire life, so yes, I must have feelings in order for me to do it, just imagine - I can count the times I've been intimate in the past year or so, I miss it, I need it, I crave it damn it! so for now my sweet and dear fingerlicious is doing the job or at least trying. Very soon I will have to start taking Spanish fly in order to get my groove on, my drive is on the floor. I do get horny don't get me wrong, but not horny enough to get laid with someone who is willing to do me the favor.
I am just going to continue having something to drink, look outside until nightfall comes along and get ready for a new week.