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Showing posts from September, 2011


I am at the hospital with a friend of mine who is currently having surgery...while waiting for the anesthesiologist he began asking questions about the people I associate with and of course I am answering without realizing he was just fishing.

Manuel is a dear friend.  I met him over 10 years ago when he was working on my vehicle and has remained in my life ever since; first it was business but it developed to a beautiful friendship.
He thinks very highly of me and always complimenting me for one reason or another.  He is the type of person who walks a straight line most of the time as far as I know (we are human, we all make mistakes one day or another).  I can always count on him when I need any kind of help and to give me some good advice, I just wasn't expecting the low blow from this morning.

I understand the people we associate with and spend most of our time with can impact the way we live, act and the way others see us.  I understand where he is coming from but what am I su…

...2nd Date

It was wonderful! Although he is much, much (much) older than I am we hit it off quite well :)

...I didn't know what to wear but the funny thing I though I had it all figured out.  I picked out the dress the night before and I usually play dress up to see if the outfit is going to work but for some reason I didn't do it that evening, I really felt confident the outfit I had picked out was going to be it (it was a bit conservative).

I rushed home to get ready, had to wash and blow dry my hair and that was going to take some time...I am easily distracted so I was trying to focus by staying away from the computer and the TV, I would practically run by them that way I didn't have to look at either one (yes, I do get that easily distracted).  I wanted to look perfect because of the type of job he said he had - it has to do with fashion.
The hair was perfect, smelling good all over, everything was just going way too smooth until I finally put on the dress.  I felt extremely uncomf…

Dominant Feelings - Playing Mistress

oh boy! modestsimon what have you done to me?  I am here playing Mistress, must say it is a very exhilarating and thrilling experience and I like it!

Things are developing quickly, I think I am getting the hang of it considering I don't have a mean bone in my body but I have been acting cruel towards him specially this past few if he didn't like it? pfft.

I enjoy my afternoons with modestsimon, I am experiencing a side of me I am loving so very much although there are times it is hard to act upon certain feelings just because I am afraid of hurting him.  He has been there for me this past few weeks when things have become too much to bare and I am grateful for that, he makes me laugh, think, but most of all and most important - he is a great distraction from all the issues I am having.

Even though we have known each other for several years it is now when we are making this sort of connection.  I think he is doing a great job training me (isn't it the other way ar…

Checking out a new website..CM

How do I begin to say that my curiosity just got the best out of me!  I was reading one of my favorite blogs "Submissivebf" and saw that she had a profile in CM, at first I didn't know what it was about...I decided to take a look and the results OVERWHELMING. 
First let me put out there and for all to know and view- I joined out of curiosity wanting to find out what the site was about, meet like minded people, ask questions, read he forums and probably join in the conversation and learn (I should probably mention that in my profile and introduction).
If I thought that in a vanilla dating site was not going to work for me, braze yourselves for CM is not going to work for me either...*shrugs* geez!

The approach is completely different, dudes be coming out their necks the way they approach females and it is great to come out strong, and I also understand how some women may like that type of approach and feel they need it, but I consider myself a gentle creature whether some…

On Stand-by

Giving up on the dating scene and concentrating on myself.  After a few weeks on several dating sites I came to the conclusion that most of the men are either married, with girlfriends, looking for booty calls, a one night stand, and/or some other shit.

I've only been on one date and I think that experience will last me a life time!  My friends tell me to just accept dates and go out and not limit myself, but if I don't feel physical attraction for the guy I am not going to bother, make him waste his time and mine.

For now I am hanging my gloves, stepping aside, concentrate on other areas and see what happens.  I believe in love, soulmates, love at first sight, butterflies in the tummy, weak knees, and dream when I am awake feeling.  It is just all so wonderful.  I felt that once and I still feel it when I think of him, I just hope and pray that it is not the first time nor the last I fall in love in such a way...I know there is someone out there for me, to love, to spoil, mak…

Making progress & changes

Looking back at a few months ago and comparing how I am feeling today and the only thing that goes through my head is WoW! Is this really me?  I did it!!
I was getting attacked left and right by some people who really just wanted to destroy me and I must say they really got the best out of me and almost killed my spirit.  High blood pressure, anxiety, I was a nervous wreck to the point I didn't even want to check my emails anymore; I was afraid to log in, I didn't want to go home, I closed myself in, didn't want to talk to anybody, hang out, the guilt trip they were putting on me was working to their advantage.
Master put a block on all of my emails, and if he didn't I guess they gave up.  The weird thing is they disappeared from the face of the earth the same way they came in.  It all started when a girl recognized his picture from my blog and commented that she'd seen him and after that it was all down hill, what are the odds?  humm? let me do the math, I wonder wh…

My FrIeNdS ~!

My friends are just a funny bunch; I say my friends because I am friends with all of them even though some of them have a love/hate relationship going on. 
We are the cool girls at work, everyone wants to be in our click :) can't help but glow *grins*...hehehe, we are also the first ones to get in trouble for talking loud, laughing loud, having loud music, and the latest thing - the dress code, helluuur, we can't help having awesome taste in fashion, and we wear it, we wear it well!  "FASHION SHOW"
Here is a little description of them: (they will be reading the post - I am going to print it out cause there is no way they are going to read my blog, and yes, everything in here is no secret to either one of them; we are all very open with our feelings towards each other)
Miss W:  hot body, beautiful personality, outgoing, takes over - likes to be the leader, usually the one driving us around in her car, free spirit, 'calls herself the biggest liar she has ever known&#…

Why I am failing in the dating world

It is not a secret this girl is hopelessly in love with a certain someone and I know it is the reason why I can't move on.  Do I want to move on is actually the big question here and the answer is...NO
I can't help loving him and taking my submission extremely serious.  I have the hope that one day we will be together but the distance that separates us has become even greater...not only the fact that he is far away (3,500 miles - the other side of the world) but the fact that we haven't spent anytime together for quite a few months. Falling in love with someone who is far away is extremely hard; not been able to spend quality time with him makes the situation even harder.  He writes once a day and he makes sure to tell me he loves me and that melts me to the point I need a spoon to scoop myself up.
He knows the way I feel about him :) I am not sure that is something to be so happy about, hehehe, he might just be using that to his advantage.  *giggles* When my phone goes off a…

Ready for a new week ahead....?

More of a  question than a statement!
A new week begins and wondering what it will bring. 
Sitting in front of the computer going over responses in fetlife, checking emails, blog and some nice music in the background helping me start the day with a much brighter view.
Looking forward with anticipation to the next seven days, I don't feel as shy as before, I think...but that is to be seen, and hey, for the record I am not a shy woman, I just feel like that in situations that I need to take in and feel comfortable before I let loose unless I am in a familiar environment.
Time to go to work and do what I do best!  I am feeling excited!
Sincerely Yours Aluv

My first date

To begin with it wasn't all that bad; the guy was a gentleman but I was really uneasy throughout the entire process.

You can say it was more like and ice breaker - first time we met.  We talked on the phone and it was cool but I knew there was no connection and no sparks but still decided to accept the date.
It has been weeks already since I joined the site and was very hesitant to go out, someone needed to be the first right?

I felt bad for him, he was really trying to impress me but it was more of a turn off.  First and foremost he was using his sisters car because he does not have a vehicle, nope, I need a guy who is reliable and depends on if that was not enough he tells me that he needs to pick up his nephew and give him a ride home, that was a very uncomfortable situation for a first date, I don't know what your view about this may be, but to me that is not acceptable...on the first date? are you kidding me?

The guy took me to his home town, where he grew up…

Online Quiz

I was doing some browsing in Fetlife and came accross this great quiz...hope you all enjoy it, I did!

this are my results:

You scored as Submissive

((NOTE:  this quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be.  I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among peopl that practice BDSM.))) It feels good to serve.  A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing.  Being a dominant person wouln't be a bad idea.

Submissive 79%
Switch 75%
Bondage 50%
Dominant 43%
Experimental 43%
Masochist 32%
Vanilla 21%
Sadist 14%
Degradation Lover 14%
Exhibitionist/Voyeur 7%

What are you?

Sincerely Yours

sub to Dom to sub

A few years ago I met a sweet guy on line who was looking for a Dom, we became friends and spoke just about every day. As time went by we began engaging in roleplay, I knew his kinks and what made him tick, I always pay close attention to details and have a great memory so I used all that information in our sessions and to my surprise it worked better than I thought!
His thrill is SPH (small penis humiliation), and when this is done to him he is not able to perform with other women because he feels he will not be able to please. 
When we started doing roleplay I did research on the subject to better understand the effects, how he felt and thought about it, just because I wanted to know how he was going to feel or affect him in his personal life, he takes this very serious for what I have noticed.
He constantly reminds me what a good Dom I am to him, how I do what I am suppose to do to meet his needs, how kind and gentle I am when I need to be and the moments that he needs me to be rut…

A Moment of excitement

Seen my friend get ready for her date was incredible, I was actually living the moment :)

The excitement on her face, the jitters, the smiles and giggles, going crazy all over the room making a big mess looking for the right outfit, the right shoes, omg the hair, the make up, the entire situation just put a huge smile upon my lips.

She was so nervous when he arrived I could see her shaking out of her skirt...sweet, they look so cute together ~giggles~ wow, I really can't wait!!

I know things will happen for me when it is the right time, I am really happy I can share my friends' excitement of her first date, it really felt so good :) I know when it is my turn she will feel the same way.

Sincerely Yours

Sent via BlackBerry

Update about me Dating...

~Shaking my head~

What is this world coming to?  or maybe I am the one who is confused and outdated? Almost every time a guy hits me up to chat they try to get sexual right away and I mean within minutes of the conversation, makes me wonder if I am rubbing the wrong way.  This type I erase right away or just ignore them, I am not that desperate to go out on a date...  A few found it offensive because I don't want to reply to their messages or even accept their chat, helluuuur, but unlike them I joined for different reasons.  Maybe the girls/women they have been interacting with kick it in on the first meet and are there for the same reasons they are but do you think they are able to recognize that? unlikely...I am not saying I am a saint, by all means I am not an ol'fashion girl but still, can we like meet for an ice breaker first and then take it from there?
I have chatted with a few that have been kind enough to warn me about the psychos I can encounter, the married men, and o…

Turned On

Past few days I've been experiencing tons of moist between my legs and an itch that will not go away...I am horny!!
It has been so long since I was intimate to the point I can't even remember how it feels. Sure, I pleasure myself but there is one thing I can't do, use dildos/vibrators; in other words I don't penetrate myself with any object, for some reason it doesn't feel the same unless there is someone else doing it for me.
Some of my friends suggested that I should get myself a booty call, or a friend with benefits, but I want much more than that, I just don't want a little something on the side, I want and need to feel that connection.
I have been masturbating at least 5 times a day (minimum), I've had quite a busy weekend, even when we went out I had to go in the bathroom and take care of myself, such thoughts just going through my mind I can't just help but feeling so aroused.
My nipples constantly hard and such moist in between my slit that whe…

In Search Of

If someone would have said to me 4 years ago that D/s relationship is something I was going to be longing for I probably would have said "you are nuts!" and one of the reason was because I really didn't know what it was about, what it meant, how the dynamics of the relationship works.
I honestly thought it was only about leather, whips and chains, inflicting pain in others and getting a kick while doing so, so yeah, I sorta knew the basics *giggles*. I heard and seen the collars, the toys and just about a great deal of the kinks but I was unaware of the most important part of such relationships; trust, respect, communication, and obedience. The closeness between two people without inhibitions, absolutely no fear to say how one is feeling, please and be pleased, be heard and understood, understand and not judge, be so open that even when dressed in their presence they can see you completely naked. So wonderful *shivers*
The more research I did about the subject, the more …

What to write on my Profile?

It should be easy to write about myself, you think?. Who can best describe how I am, what I am about, my likes and dislikes, what I want, my needs and little things that should be included when I read that little part that says "about me" but when I am confronted with that part I get stuck, is like a cloud that comes over me and all of a sudden I begin to question what I should write or not. A profile should say as much as you would like and contain the information you want to share. Some profiles have way too much information while others just don't have enough leaving us wondering and curious...I like the mystery, hehehe.
I have the tendency of going back and forth; adding, taking out, rearranging, changing, and I am really never comfortable enough or satisfy with what I want to say.
Why is it so hard to say that I am a loving woman, someone who knows herself well... Someone who is confident, and isn't afraid to say "no" and isn't afraid to say "y…

Dating for the wrong reasons?

I have been in a LDR for a few years, nontheless with a married man, and like every woman who is in a situation like the one I am going through we all would like to think that it will end in a happily ever after.
I am not saying online relationship or LDR's don't work, by all means I believe in them but at the moment it is not working for me.  The man I am in love with has suddenly slowed down on his writing and his attention is else where, and although I would like to think that every relationship has its up and down and we are just going through a moment, I also have to be realistic about the fact he has a life and a wife. There is a saying where I come from that goes "Long Distance Relationships and the four of us happy".  I get tons of advice why I should give up that affair yet my heart is in total control, and my mind to say the least still hung on him.  When I began to talk/chat with guys after I was done I was crying for hours and that is just talking...can you…