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Making progress & changes

Looking back at a few months ago and comparing how I am feeling today and the only thing that goes through my head is WoW! Is this really me?  I did it!!
I was getting attacked left and right by some people who really just wanted to destroy me and I must say they really got the best out of me and almost killed my spirit.  High blood pressure, anxiety, I was a nervous wreck to the point I didn't even want to check my emails anymore; I was afraid to log in, I didn't want to go home, I closed myself in, didn't want to talk to anybody, hang out, the guilt trip they were putting on me was working to their advantage.

Master put a block on all of my emails, and if he didn't I guess they gave up.  The weird thing is they disappeared from the face of the earth the same way they came in.  It all started when a girl recognized his picture from my blog and commented that she'd seen him and after that it was all down hill, what are the odds?  humm? let me do the math, I wonder who could have done that? It was very clear they were trying to get rid of me,  I was the one getting attacked, the one that needed to be out of the way, the one who was causing the harm, and when I made believe I was gone it just stopped...I don't know, is not rocket science if you ask me, last time I checked 1 + 1 = 2 (and my friends support my relationship and my feelings with this man 100%, they may not agree with some of the shit that goes on, but above all they are there for me)

Anyways...everything in my life just took a turn for the worse, I had a miscarriage due to all the stress I was going through.  Spent 4 days in the hospital due to all the complications.  My finances hit rock bottom to the point I was almost homeless.  The relationship with Him went extremely sour.  It was just a series of unfortunate events one after the other.
I don't believe in vengeance or doing wrong to people because I am a firm believer of karma.  I can honestly say I never hated anybody in my life and I am not going to start now, but after what I went through I really wish those assholes get what they deserve eventually and I hope it starts with ring leader.
It has been a very slow process and a big challenge climbing out of this hole and I have to say that although I have good friends who will be there for me no matter what, there are certain things that I am too proud or maybe ashamed to even consider discussing or asking of them, and when I did let my guard down and asked for help, in the end I had to do it on my own, find a way to figure things out, it would have been a bit easier if I was given a hand, but now I appreciate my efforts even more, I look around and feel proud of what I have accomplished and even see the difference on how people look at me, with respect, admiration (and some with lustful eyes ~giggles~).
I am meditating more and longer.  My self esteem is back and better than ever! My strength was tested this past few months, and you know what?  I am still standing, I am still strong, I am back and better than ever, I am determined to get where I want to be and get what I want! Love will lead the way! that's all I gotta say...

 "True Love cannot be stopped, only postponed"

to my modestsimon :) ty

Sincerely Yours


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Sincerely Yours Aluv