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How ya'doing?

Is a question I am hearing all day long.

I am not doing well quite frankly.  A break up is something that it takes time to get over specially when so much was shared.

We were together for 3 years, so we did have a history together.

I try to dress up every single day to motivate myself, make up and all...for the past two days I am rocking a ponytail since the weather sucks and not even wasting my time blow-drying the hair, it will be a waste of time.

I still haven't had any type of contact with me, I want to write, but I am holding myself back from doing so!  Giving each other space, more like, giving him his space.

When the pain is less maybe I will build enough courage to say hello.  We did end things in amicable ways, and also talked about in staying in touch from time to time, but at the moment the wounds are too fresh and the pain greater than I thought it would be.

I am moping around

I try to look happy around everyone so they will not notice how I am feeling...

But in reality it is no use!! my sadness and emptiness is so obvious!!

and I have to keep saying, no, no...really, I am happy!

They don't believe me, I am not my usual sparky, go crazy kinda of girl (the real me), spontaneous, my usual loud self, joking around, putting music on, dancing all over, singing and making people sing along...

But I will get back to my old self one day.  I hope, I wish, and more than ever praying it doesn't take that long.

I love that man with all of me, and although we are not together, I still feel his...shit, I am still wearing his brand (tattoo) and the bracelet he put around my wrist 8/11/2012.

Is going to take time, I know, but at the moment it is just too painful!

Sincerely Yours


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