if you get to read this and you notice i am all over the place, WARNING!! i am ADHD, i have tons of shit going on in my head and just need to sort them out!!
1. I went on a date...I wrote about my experience HERE
I don't pick up the phone when he calls, his texts are ignored, totally!!
you would think he is getting the hint...so he calls private! are you kidding me? Serious dude? When he asked me what was wrong, that he would like to see me again, blah blah, to give him another chance, I couldn't say no....I told him ok, setting him up for more failure, but I think what I have to say to him must be done in person, he needs a few tips so in the future he doesn't make such mistakes.
Not giving the guy hopes by accepting to meet up with him for a date, but on the real, he needs to know where he went wrong, I am sure I am not the first girl he does that shit to!
2. guy from the UK, writing to me, saying how much I look like his dead wife, and how impressed he is, I don't know what to think of the entire ordeal, to me is just one big CATFISH!!
he wants to introduce a possibility between him and I, so I plain and simple just put it on his lap "I want, I need a dominant man in my life" I know what I am in search of and I am not going to settle for anything less...he tells me that I hurt him (WHAT?) oook!!!
he says we are meeting before April...I have yet to see that.
I don't want to fall in love, well, I do, but at this moment I am scared, of trusting, of just the commitment itself.
I want it, I can taste it, I desire it, I wish to be loved, needed, wanted, taken, but I am scared.
Vulnerable but at the same time I am just putting guys on blast, they try to talk to me but when they move their lips and whatever air comes out their mouth does not mean shit to me. I don't believe in anything they have to say, or even offer.
When did I ever get to this point?
I just want to have sex, go a bit crazy, but not even close to that, I can't even bring myself to it...what is wrong with me?
and I want it! but when the moment is near I back out, I've had my chances, but I back out, one way or another the guy will do or say something that will turn me off and that's it (you done fucked up your chances for great, tight pussy, a blowjob that will blow your mind, and great sex)
I have some serious issues to work through!
Where to begin?