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Dating 'older' & their insecurities

I met a man a few weeks ago, not exactly someone I would usually go for but there is/was something about him that called my attention.  We seen each other before at a few functions at work but never engaged in any conversations.

We work together and that is not acceptable for the president of the company, it is a rule, a manager dating an employee is grounds to get fired.  But we still took a chance and decided to go out.

We went out to dinner and we had a marvelous time, amazing night out, weather was perfect all around, the mood, the attitude.  He took me to country club filled with rich, mid-aged white women and here I am, short, Dominican, broke woman with tons of glamour, a smile that can knock anyone over, confidence and to add to the list a bit over dressed.
I noticed they all turned to look at me as I walked in, some of them giggled and I am sure they were making comments along the way.

He made reservations but when we arrived they weren't even ready for us.  We sat at a couch waiting to be called and talked for a few until the waitress came to get us .

A few things were already bothering me, and one thing I noticed that regardless of his age and position he was also insecure.
He implied about me going to high end places, as if I am a woman/person who never visited an expensive restaurant or been to places where people with money usually go to.
Asked me about my financial situation on various occasions but I completely evaded answering him.  He asked me how a woman in my status could afford two trips to the Netherlands, and he is right, but where there's a will, there's a way and I explained that to him, but he kept making me feel as if I am not capable of lavishing on good and expensive treats because of my "poor" status.
The most awkward moments of the date were when he brought up money to the conversation ugh!!..and he did that a few times.

The night continues, we are having dinner, the most exquisite wine I've had in the longest time, and he tells me that he must tell me his age.  
He first asked to guess his age, I said 58 he points up as for me to go higher and I couldn't believe it, I had one more guess and then he just says 69...that is 30 years older!!! Yikes! But still there was something attracting me to him, although that is a huge age difference.

The date ended and all was peachy, we originally had plans for a date on Friday but we just wanted to go out and we made plans for both days, now I am beginning to think that was a huge mistake.

Friday came.
My mood was up early in the morning but rain and a few minor dilemmas just made my mood go down.  He wanted me to blow dry my hair and keep it down so I complied, I went home early so I had time to get ready and be ready when he arrived to pick me up.

He wanted me to try Thai food and I am always down to try new food.  As soon as I got in the car he brought up how beautiful I looked, but also how different my attitude was.  I explained to him the little issues that came about and how the weather also makes a little impact on my mood, but most of all it was just the little things that took place that Friday to make me feel a bit upset and a bit off.

I guess he didn't like the way I was and his insecurities made him say things that made me realize this relationship will not work.
He fucking said that I probably have schizophrenia or I was bi-polar because the woman he went out the previous night was a total different woman he went out on Friday.
I really hate having to explain myself over and over again, also the relationship is not even starting and when my phone rang he is implying other men are calling me.
When I told him I was leaving on vacation for a week to California he also implied I was going to meet with another man.  I don't care how much you joke around with a person but this are not things you should bring up during a date.
Also trying to diagnose me just because I was a bit off that evening and not by much, I was laughing, joking and telling him what happened to make me feel off, still he was not getting it and I had to repeat myself a few times.
Of course his insecurities made him not notice that I did my hair just for him regardless of the crappy weather we were having.

It is why they say when dating it is good to stay with the plus/minus 5 years, I have no problems dating older men at all, and I would not have any problems dating him regardless of the huge difference, but an older man with insecurities?  I can't deal with that.

Sincerely Yours


Desireous said…
I don't think his age had anything to do with it, once a loser always a loser at any age. This guy was just an loser. At least it was obvious some guys you can think they are nice on the surface and later find out what they really are made of so I guess for that you can be grateful. lol
Florida Dom said…
I agree his age had nothing to do with the fact he is an insecure loser. I am much older than my girl and it is not a problem for either of us.

Good luck on meeting better guys in the future. There is an old saying you have to kiss a lot of frogs or meet them until you find your Prince. Your Prince is still out there.


little said…
There were alarm bells ringing for me in this. Money - did he think he was doing you a favour?
other men- on a second date??- really?

good decision
AtiyaLuv said…
It goes to show that maturity does not come with age.

I did give him a chance to apologize but the mood is off and not interested anymore.

Thanks :-)

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