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The Principles for Good Relationships

Found this doing some lurking around on line.

I enjoyed it very much.

  • You can't expect to have what you want if you don't ask for what you want
  • Just because you feel bad doesn't necessarily mean someone did something wrong
  • Just because you feel good doesn't necessarily mean what you're doing is right
  • Integrity matters
  • Expectation on your part does not incur obligation on someone else's
  • When you feel something scary or unpleasant, talk about it
  • If you're afraid to say it, that means you need to say it
  • Your partner(s) add value to your life; treat them preciously
  • Make sure your partner's heart is safe in your hands
  • The easiest way to FIND someone with the qualities you like is to be someone that a person with those qualities finds interesting
  • People are not commodities; they are never interchangeable
  • Your partner will do many things that are Not About You
  • Different people express love differently; learn to recognize the way others express and receive love
  • Don't treat people the way you'd have them treat you; treat them the way they'd have you treat them
  • Pay attention
  • We are born of frailty and error, and must forgive one another's failings
  • Being in a relationship that does not meet your needs is not necessarily better than being alone
  • Love is abundant
  • It is not necessary to be the best at everything, or even anything; you alone bring your unique mix of qualities to the table
  • Relationships that are consciously chosen are usually more rewarding than relationships built on default assumptions
  • Don't play games, especially with other people's hearts
  • Relationships are often different in theory than in practice
  • Be flexible
  • A sense of humor will get you through times of no sanity better than sanity will get you through times of no humor
  • A partner who chooses to with you is more satisfying that a partner who can't leave
  • Real security comes from within
  • People are not need fulfillment machines
  • Don't look to other to complete you
  • Life is change
  • Sometimes you will feel uncomfortable; that's normal, and not something to be feared
  • All of us are lousy at predicting how we will feel in new circumstances
  • When you hurt someone--and you will--suck it up, take responsibility, and do what you can to make it right
  • Relationships end; it doesn't mean they were a failure, or that your ex-partners are bad people
  • Your heart will, at some point, be broken, and that's okay; you will survive, and find love again
  • Feelings are not fact
  • Fear of intimacy is the enemy of happiness
  • Compassion is most necessary when it's most difficult
  • Don't vilify those who hurt you; they are people too
  • It is possible for two people to deeply, profoundly love each other but not be good life partners
  • Being uncomfortable is not, in itself, a reason not to do something 
  • You can't be generous or compassionate when you fear loss
  • The world is as it is, not as we want it to be
  • Life's song is filled with beauty and chaos and joy and sorrow and pain and uncertainty and ecstasy and heartache and passion; to fear any of these things is to fear life
  • Treat those you love with respect
  • Life rewards people who move in the direction of greatest courage


Anonymous said…
just like life in general.
do unto others as you want them to do to you

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