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The Principles for Good Relationships

Found this doing some lurking around on line.

I enjoyed it very much.


  • You can't expect to have what you want if you don't ask for what you want
  • Just because you feel bad doesn't necessarily mean someone did something wrong
  • Just because you feel good doesn't necessarily mean what you're doing is right
  • Integrity matters
  • Expectation on your part does not incur obligation on someone else's
  • When you feel something scary or unpleasant, talk about it
  • If you're afraid to say it, that means you need to say it
  • Your partner(s) add value to your life; treat them preciously
  • Make sure your partner's heart is safe in your hands
  • The easiest way to FIND someone with the qualities you like is to be someone that a person with those qualities finds interesting
  • People are not commodities; they are never interchangeable
  • Your partner will do many things that are Not About You
  • Different people express love differently; learn to recognize the way others express and receive love
  • Don't treat people the way you'd have them treat you; treat them the way they'd have you treat them
  • Pay attention
  • We are born of frailty and error, and must forgive one another's failings
  • Being in a relationship that does not meet your needs is not necessarily better than being alone
  • Love is abundant
  • It is not necessary to be the best at everything, or even anything; you alone bring your unique mix of qualities to the table
  • Relationships that are consciously chosen are usually more rewarding than relationships built on default assumptions
  • Don't play games, especially with other people's hearts
  • Relationships are often different in theory than in practice
  • Be flexible
  • A sense of humor will get you through times of no sanity better than sanity will get you through times of no humor
  • A partner who chooses to with you is more satisfying that a partner who can't leave
  • Real security comes from within
  • People are not need fulfillment machines
  • Don't look to other to complete you
  • Life is change
  • Sometimes you will feel uncomfortable; that's normal, and not something to be feared
  • All of us are lousy at predicting how we will feel in new circumstances
  • When you hurt someone--and you will--suck it up, take responsibility, and do what you can to make it right
  • Relationships end; it doesn't mean they were a failure, or that your ex-partners are bad people
  • Your heart will, at some point, be broken, and that's okay; you will survive, and find love again
  • Feelings are not fact
  • Fear of intimacy is the enemy of happiness
  • Compassion is most necessary when it's most difficult
  • Don't vilify those who hurt you; they are people too
  • It is possible for two people to deeply, profoundly love each other but not be good life partners
  • Being uncomfortable is not, in itself, a reason not to do something 
  • You can't be generous or compassionate when you fear loss
  • The world is as it is, not as we want it to be
  • Life's song is filled with beauty and chaos and joy and sorrow and pain and uncertainty and ecstasy and heartache and passion; to fear any of these things is to fear life
  • Treat those you love with respect
  • Life rewards people who move in the direction of greatest courage

Comments

slave sindee said…
just like life in general.
do unto others as you want them to do to you

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