After 15 years of the same shit and more responsibilities been added I can't handle it anymore. It is coming down to either my health and well being or end up with a mental break down.
People are so unhappy this days and no matter how much one tries to motivate them and help them out is never enough, they want more, or better yet, in my field and what I do, this fuckers go to interviews and company testing, not passing and blaming me because I am the trainer, really?
The joy of customer service!
One thing that holds me back is my vacation and personal time off that I have accumulated over the years and leaving to a new place means I will have to start all over again from scratch.
Looking to see if I can be changed to another position within the company but they have made it clear to me that I am so great at what I do that it will be hard to find someone to replace me but I have a few candidates I have trained in the past that can do the job with as much enthusiasm as I do.
At this point the only reason I am staying in this job is because I have responsibilities, and I am scared to rely on others, unfortunately the people I have no expectations from and don't owe me a thing are more likely to offer me help and be there for me than the ones who actually "should" be there to give me the help and support that I need.
It sucks feeling this way.
Having to stay at a job because rent needs to be paid, utilities, and the everyday responsibilities that life brings along...just plain sucks!
I don't know what to do, how to go about it, I go back and forth, one day I say "fuck it all, I'll figure it out, the universe will provide" next day I rethink and how I hate to rely on others that usually are such a let down and disappointment.
I am lacking the motivation, I am doing all I have to do at work (except keep up with paperwork which is very important here) but I am not doing it with love, I am just doing it because it has to get done and I do not like to be called in the office for lack of performance. Eventually the paperwork issue will be catching up to me, I just hope I have enough time to cover my ass.
One thing is for sure, I have to make up my mind of what it is I am going to do before December time and it is just around the corner.
What to do?
What to do?