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It is not the same without him

Woke up extremely early, I believe it was about 4:30 am when I heard my skype go off, it was my friend J, having her usual meltdowns in the middle of the night.

I replied to my Owner and to the bathroom I went to meditate.
Made a huge difference this morning, for the past two days I have been struggling with anxiety.  It really sucks doing a lecture and tears coming down without me noticing it in front of my entire classroom! OUCH.....

I miss him, I miss us
the chemistry we have and share is like no other either one of us has experienced
and the love...
wow, so powerful, strong, that makes us feel so connected and in tune with one another.

Monday was a hard day, I was off, felt completely out of my element, he felt it, I  know he did, he picked up the phone and called me, listening to his voice, his words made a huge difference on how the rest of my day played out

He even recognizes that I am not the same I was when I arrived than when I left.
The slave in me kicked in
The urge and desire to serve him is up 150%
and I keep going back to those days we spent together in which I had no control, not even my actions, He would show up and I would lose it!
Couldn't remember things
One touch from him and I was ready to hit the ceiling!
My eyes felt like they were glowing and would get tinier than usual

I need Him
His nurturing
His arms around me
The way he reassures me
The way he talks to me
oooh the playful ways he has -- tickling me,  making fun of me cause I usually can't reach the counters and at times had to use a chair to get certain things, and how beautiful I looked when he arrived each time only to look like I got into a brawl with someone, weeeeell, kinda of sorta did, with him....
Loved how he had to assist me out of bed because my body was so weak and my legs couldn't hold me up to save my life
when he sat on the couch and I sat next to him to finish making a scarf while he was fixing that thick, long, black rope, listening to music just having a great time, and after I massaged his head, using my long nails to scratch him as well, he loved that very much.
Giving him a shower and drying him was one of my favorite deeds *grins*
I wonder how he feels about taking a shower on his own, he has been doing it all his life, but I bet is a bit different now. ehehehe

It is not the same without him
I am not the same without him
and now I am once again counting down the days to see him (I already have my ticket to go see him again)

I can't wait

Sincerely Yours


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