Skip to main content

Lessons Learned

My daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, came a bit premature, 24 weeks to be exact, unfortunately he died an hour after he was born, goes to show how fragile life can be.

I learned something on that day (4/21/2015)...
Things change from one moment to another
without a warning
Life will throw curve balls and fast balls our way and they can either make us or break us.
I truly believe I hit my turning point

The time came for me to act and just say "fuck it"

I am always careful doing the things I would like to do, making certain decisions because of fear
because I am scared
I think too much, instead of taking the plunge and just do what I have to do for me, my sake, my sanity, my happiness

Feeling different about it now
Made my first move to get to where I want to be
I spoke to my boss and told her what I have been wanting to say for months
"I need time off, I am tired, I am burned out, I am done, get someone in here ASAP because I need to take care of me"
Although this conversation already took place about a month ago it seems that nothing was been done, I guess they were just waiting for me to get better, feel better, and probably dismiss the situation as I have done in the past...but...
Had a rude awakening which made me realize that life is too short to live with fear and trying to meet peoples' expectations even when it is not my intention
going back a bit (elaborating)...
It is no secret I am trying to leave this job but there are a few things that are holding me back
I stay at this job because of the money, it is the reason why most of us work, to pay bills and survive
The second reason is because I am so grateful to my boss for all she has done for me over the years, I am loyal to her and the company
But those should not be reasons why I should stay at a place when I'm so unhappy, not at my cost, when I'm so miserable

There is so much going wrong in my life (and I only realize this when I sit down to think and look at my surrounding)
I never thought that at this point and stage I would be going through so much shit
Although I am a firm believer that there is a reason for everything and I take most things with a grain of salt, is hard to believe that I am so unstable and have absolutely no idea how to start fixing everything that has gone wrong.

The best part of it all
I'm not too late
I stopped planning and just acting
I've noticed that when I make plans they never come out as i want them to
Reminds me of a quote that's says "you want to see God laughing?  Just tell him your plans"

I know I'm gonna be alright
But first I need to let go of all fears 

Sincerely Yours


C Stag said…
There is nothing I can say that will make you feel any better about a baby passing… I am sorry.

It is often darkest before the dawn… and most times things happen for a reason… which we don't really see at the time. Sometimes it takes a while … but usually we say… OK, that makes a bit of sense now.

I hope you get out of that situation at work. I hope your Etsy goes well, and you can manage to pay your bills and live a little, doing something you don't hate. That's all we really ask, isn't it?

Popular posts from this blog

Sinful Sunday - from below

Every opportunity I get I touch myself.

What is "Cock Worship?"

A man found this in a profile in CM and sent it to me...

I loved it so much that I want it to post it here :)

What is cock Worship???
Quite simply it is a way more then just a blow job.  It is NOT about getting a Dom's cock hard, or even making the cock release...(but is very much treasured and loved when it does).  It is about Love & Devotion to the cock in a very admirable way.

To love and worship a man's cock & balls, through literally loving, tasting, smelling, to loving and needing to caress, lick, suck, nurse the cock, look at the cock admirably and touch the cock in a way to show our love, respect and lust for the cock.  It is something that not only gives us such pleasure to serve the cock but it clearly so important to our man who will allow us to pleasure of it and takes us where we need to be with it.

Cock worshiping is attaching your sluthood to your other.  It is declaring your lust for your Dom sexually by pointing out that their cock and balls are to be g…

Pussy Spanking - beg for it

My motivation for masturbating this  morning...
drifting away as I played with my clit sliding my fingers in between thinking of my Master mmmm the way he is going to spank me spreading my legs as I scream "Spank my pussy Master, make me cum please"

Images in my head  of how is going to play when he spanks my pussy as he makes his slut beg

"get in position girl" he says I lay with my legs wide open and wait He teases me until I begin to beg while my pussy throbs and gets even more wet the soft spanks makes the way to sweet orgasms he causes his girl

Sincerely Yours Aluv