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J is for Jinxed

When I meet with spiritual people they can't stress enough how lucky I am, how divined, and blessed.
cause I don't see it and I sure don't feel it.

I feel I have to work extra hard to for what others can acquire so much easier.  Everything seems to come with obstacles, I can't get a break most times.
Perfect examples:
1)  I get a cat, I take him to get fixed, and of course my cat is special, one of his testicles didn't drop so he needs surgery.
2)  a day before I need to take my car for inspection I go to open the door and the handle stays in my hand, and because I have a fiat I have to order everything online.  when I do get the handle and ready to get the car inspected they find all of this damages I was completely unaware of.
3)  someone owes me money, I am told that they have it to come and get it after work, I tell her I will just wait til the morning to get it, I get to work the next day and she "needed" to take out half of it because there was an emergency.  I was counting with that already, I had already made plans with that, but now I have to wait 2 weeks.
4)  I pay everything and stay with just enough money for gas and essentials for the week, same day, after paying for everything my phone just stops working, now I have to wait about a week to get a phone.

Those are just minimal examples, and the worse of it all is that something new happens each day, this is not a weekly thing, is more like a daily thing
I feel I am jinxed or carrying a curse...I get so baffled when I can't catch a break, it is always one thing or another.

and they say I am blessed, i wonder how it would be if I wasn't blessed, or lucky for that matter (as they say)
I'd be too scared to find out.


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